Feeling Defeated

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

If you know me personally (which all 3 of you do), than you know just how much I HATE potty training. No, I LOATHE potty training. Really, truly LOATHE. Honestly, Nurse Boy and I even had this on our "pros and cons list for having another child." And we wrote it down about 20 times on the con list. It might have been the only con, but it should have been a red flashing sign. It wasn't. That must be why we have Sweet Pea.

There are some things I am good at when it comes to parenting. Potty Training is NOT one of those things.

OK, so don't get me wrong. I obviously love Sweet Pea dearly. But, why is it that I can send my kids to a school or a camp for just about anything, but NO ONE WILL POTTY TRAIN my child for me? Right now I am almost certain she will go to college in a Dora pull up. I wonder if they will change her pull up for her when she is taking the SAT's to get into college? After all, I never saw potty trained listed as a requirement or a prerequisite when applying to all of the schools of my dreams.

That being said, I was CERTAIN that both Dimples and Bruiser were going to attend kindergarten in Spiderman pull ups. They didn't. It was a miracle from the good Lord above, I tell you!

But, I am afraid that He just might be done divvying out miracles to the "Nurse" family.

Last week, I got serious. I made potty training fun. We read books about pottys (is that even a real word?). We looked at pictures of pottys. We sat on pottys. We sang about pottys. We watched videos about pottys. We even watched family members on the potty. It was a week of pottys!

We also peed and pooped our pants. Sweet Pea won't do anything on the potty.

Still.

I am TIRED.

Can I quit now?

Can You Say LAZY?

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

Since Nurse Boy has been spending every evening on school, I have used the evenings to do some very exciting stuff. Stuff like whiten my teeth, trim and file my nails, clean the house (yuck), workout (double yuck), and watch some TV (ya know, the kind where balls are not being thrown about while grown men tackle one another). Some nights the only energy I can muster up, after making lunches and cleaning up after dinner and bath time, is the energy it takes to walk to the couch. Some nights I am just a sorry mess.

While sitting on my lazy rump one night, a commercial caught my eye. It was advertising some new washing machine. The special feature they were promoting? This washing machine can hold up to 6 months of laundry detergent. SIX MONTHS WORTH!

Right then I realized that the whole measuring (if you can even call pouring to the line on the cap measuring) of the laundry detergent is what is so very time consuming. I mean, how many times have I thought, "I really need to throw in a load of laundry, but I just can't muster up the energy to pour the laundry detergent into the washing machine. Now, if I could just gather up, sort, stain stick, and place ONLY the clothes into the machine... well, I would be right on it. But, the laundry detergent? Well, that just puts me over the edge!"

Come ON! How lazy are we? Now, give me a machine that seeks out and removes ALL stains. Or, a machine that sorts the laundry for me. Or, a dryer that drys AND folds the laundry. Maybe I should stop sitting on my rump and start inventing... Nah, who has the energy with 3 kids and a husband going to school?

However, Nurse Boy thought the said washing machine was genius.

It is official. It was invented by a man who was trying to help out one day and it WAS the laundry detergent that sent him over the edge.

Something's BUGGING Me

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

I have said it before and I'll say it again. I am a CITY GIRL. Yes, I do love the beauty of the country, lakes, mountains, oceans, and rivers. You cannot deny how magnificent our Creator is when you look into the night sky in the middle of nowhere. But, it is in the middle of nowhere where you find bugs, spiders, rodents, and reptiles. All of which I hate.

It really is my mother's fault. She is TERRIFIED by all of those things. I have NEVER known her to squish a spider all by herself. She simply hollers (at the top of her lungs), "DAN!!!!!!!" If he is not around, she MIGHT get out the vacuum. She can't even take a tissue and pick up a dead bug. Oh, and all dead bugs MUST be flushed down the toilet, to prevent any and all resurrections. She thinks all of the spiders in her house like to play dead, only to taunt her again and again from the corner of her ceiling.

I am not that bad. I see one and I am on a mission to KILL, KILL, KILL.

My problem? Both of the boys are studying insects at school. It has become a passion for them. Ironically, I have been discovering a lot more spiders and crickets in my house than normal. Bruiser will start yelling (at the top of his lungs), "I found a cricket!"

My response? "Good! Kill it!"

Bruiser immediately gets a sad look on his face and says, "No! I want to catch it!"

Really? Catch it? Yuck!

They keep taking these insects they find all around the house to school. Are these teachers crazy? Do they really want a classroom full of these things. I am starting to feel things crawling all over me just thinking about it! YUCK!

I can't wait until they start studying something else. How about nutrition? We can hunt for all things with whole grains, crispy veggies, and fresh fruit. And, maybe, just maybe, they will start to holler (at the top of their lungs), "I found some broccoli!"

My response? "Good! Eat it!"

Free?

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

This weekend we made some time for the family. Some good, quality family time. We came across some tickets to the local "Hand-Over-Fists-Full-of-Money" amusement park. The tickets were "free." Except, the saying "ain't nothing free," did apply. Oh, I don't mean to sound ungrateful. We were thrilled to have the opportunity to take the kids! The tickets alone would have cost us around $140. Then add $10 to PARK THE CAR! CRAZY!

I do realize that I am starting to sound like an old person. But, seriously, the prices really did scare me. For lunch, we grabbed some quick burgers and hot dogs. It was a step below McD's. Not to mention, less food since Nurse Boy and I spilt a small order of fries. The bill? Over $46! I am NOT exaggerating. I felted like my grandpa when I handed them ONLY a twenty dollar bill. It was then we realized that one must file for bankruptcy after a full day at the amusement park.

Money aside, we had a terrific time! The boys loved EVERY SINGLE MINUTE! You couldn't wipe the smiles off of their faces!

Nurse Boy and the boys loved the water rides. Some how, Nurse Boy was the only one who seemed to get wet.

How cute are Dimples and Bruiser? They had the time of their lives!

More water with some new friends.

Where was Sweet Pea, you ask? Patiently watching and waiting until we found our way to kiddie land. She loves to watch people.

Dimples and Sweet Pea. So cute! He was so protective of her.

Bruiser and Sweet Peas galloping along.

We had to stop for some over priced ice cream cones. I mean, after lunch, the ice cream seemed like a bargain!

And, a girl needs a liter of Pepsi to make it home after a long day of fun in the sun! (Oh, I kid! I would NEVER give her a Pepsi, but how cute is this?!)

Need an Adjustment?

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

My father has been dealing with back pain this week. He said he was pretty uncomfortable and just couldn't beat it. His chiropractor died a year ago. Apparently, my father is so loyal that he is just waiting until he can join him in heaven before his next adjustment. It is going to be a long wait, Dad!

All week we have had rain. Cool, never-ending rain. So, what happens when it rains around here? You find out that people can't drive on WET roads. I mean ICE, I understand. (I am usually the idiot spinning around by the light poles.) But, come on people... WET ROADS?

So, on Wednesday, my Dad got rear ended. He said that he got out of the car to find not an ounce of damage to his car or the car of the lady that hit him. He said it was truly amazing. Not a scratch, a scuff, or a dent. On either car. Nothing.

I started thinking about his poor back and how the impact probably made things worse for him. He then informed me that his back feels better than ever! Well, that is one way to get an adjustment. Folks, don't try this at home, or even on the highway.

Just goes to show you what the enemy intends for evil, God can use for good!

I Am Trusting...

Mrs. Nurse Boy here. It just might be time to rename this blog. Oh, I kid. I am still holding out that Nurse Boy will return every now and again. He has been working very hard at school and that is all he has time for when he sits down at the computer.

Well, God has been preparing me for change. Mostly, He is preparing me for a new season in my family's life. One where my husband is working and going to school. One where I am stepping down from most, if not all of my leadership positions. One where I have to trust Him for finances in a way I have never had to trust Him before. One where I am going to receive from Him and others (and probably spend less time on the giving end. That might not make sense, but I understand what God is calling me to do in this area). One where He and my family come first ALL the time, no exceptions. This might sound simple, but for me it is unknown territory. He is asking me to change just about everything I feel like I have known in the past 10 years or so. I realize that I should be excited, and part of me is. The other part of me is kicking and screaming.

This morning I went to a meeting with a group of Christian women. I didn't know a soul. I really felt the enemy trying to keep me from attending, but I pressed on. I found myself in a welcoming place, full of a lot of women feeling the same way I felt...vulnerable. Twice this morning, God used various ways to tell me to TRUST Him with ALL my heart. Of course I want to trust him, but my flesh was uncertain. I obeyed and was blessed. Duh, right? I now feel encouraged in a way I did not this morning. Oh, don't get me wrong, this whole "change" thing is not over and I am sure I will end up on the floor kicking and screaming again later this week or even this afternoon. I can be a slow learner. But, God is faithful, even when I am not.

So, to summarize this morning? I met some amazing women that I hope to get to know on a deeper level. I am believing that God is going to show me His plans for me during the next couple of years as we trust in Him to continue to reveal the future He has planned for our family and each individual member.

Something that came out at the meeting was what our children do when we are not looking. More specifically, when we are in the restroom. Seriously, what mom gets to close the door when she is on the pot? (Oh, I know I am airing my dirty laundry.) I don't think I have been allowed to visit the restroom alone since 1999. OK, I might be exaggerating a bit. But, the very moment I shut the door, there is a crisis... one with much kicking, screaming, crying, etc. Heaven help me if I actually LOCK the door.

I know my kids come by it honestly. I used to ask my poor father questions every time he scrambled to the restroom. I did this through high school. I even remember thinking that he was quite grumpy about answering questions when he was on the pot. I mean, my question was very important and obviously couldn't wait! Now, I realize IT COULD HAVE WAITED!!! So sorry, Dad!

Don't you worry, Papa, your three grand kids are paying me back on a daily basis...

He Still Makes My Heart Go Pitter-Patter

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

So, this weekend we did sneak in some family time and a few naps. My favorite was the naps.

This weekend I realized that Nurse Boy really gets me. We started dating when we were 18 and have now been married for 11 and 1/2 years. After 17 years, he really gets me.

How do I know this? Let me start from the beginning. When we were first married, he complained every time I got my hair cut:

"Does it really have to cost that much? Can't you go to the same place I go? Do you really need to take out a loan for your shampoo? And, who needs conditioner? If Head and Shoulders is good enough for me, why isn't it good enough for you? I am sure your natural hair color is beautiful..."

You get the idea.

When I stopped working, I couldn't even try to justify my expensive haircuts, shampoo, conditioner, highlights, and hairspray. I started paying a friend of mine $15 to cut my hair in my own kitchen. When she was finished, I even had to clean up the mess. I am not going to lie, I didn't always have the best attitude about it. But, I made the sacrifice for my children.

Slowly, I worked my way back into a salon. It was a salon mostly for the blue haired crowd, hence the inexpensive haircuts and highlights. At least I got to leave the insanity of my own kitchen and get all of the updates on any changes in social security. At night I could even wrap toliet paper around my head to keep my hair in place...did anyone else have a grandma who did this? I mean, does toliet paper REALLY keep your hair in place when you are rolling all around in your sleep?

One day, I made the leap into a REAL salon. The best part? Nurse Boy loved my hair and told me to go back. Yay!!! I even started buying real shampoo (most of the time (on sale), I do still have 3 kids at home) and getting foil highlights to keep me looking young (shut up, let me pretend I am fooling someone out there).

Keep reading, it gets better.

So, this weekend we were at a gathering for a special event. Later on we were discussing some of the fun/crazy people we met and saw. Nurse Boy had noticed that this very sweet lady had a full blown mustache. That is right, a mustache. Poor, poor woman. I informed Nurse Boy that this wasn't nearly as uncommon as he might think. Many women pluck, bleach, and wax that area to stay young and not look like a Yetty. I had to confess that this old broad has had to do a lot more plucking as of late. Sad, but true. He looked at me and said, "If you ever need lazer treatments, we can make that happen." I felt so loved at that moment. Really, I did. You see, he gets me. Lord help me if I ever grow a full blown mustache. But, my husband loves me enough to know that this would be worthy of a second mortgage.

I love that we have grown up together. So what if I taught him to be more shallow, at least no one will be asking if I am his mother at our 50th wedding anniversary.