Because Fish Need Fresh Breath, Too

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

So, you have to live in a cave if you haven't heard about all of the famous ones who passed away last week. Somehow, in a really weird way, I am sadden by the loss of the gloved one. Yes, I know he wasn't the same man that danced the night away in the music video, "Thriller." But, who doesn't remember where they were when they watched that magical video? And, you know you had a Beat It jacket. Come on, fess up. Mine was a knock off. HAD to have one. It remained in my closet and collected dust. I mean, let's face it, this white girl couldn't pull off that look. (Honestly, who could?) I think it had something to do with the fact that I lived in the suburbs, didn't make millions of dollars, and didn't have my own entourage following me around. Oh, and I didn't wear one white glove everywhere I went and toss it into a crowd of my fans. My only fans were my parents and my mom always wanted to know where the other glove was...

But, all of this talk of death has me revisiting a tragedy that happened in our home a few years ago. Get your tissues handy...

Dimples has always wanted a pet of his own. We have a cat, but Mocha has never counted in Dimples' book. Mocha is 18 years old now. His idea of fun is a bowl full of food, a little gentle petting, long naps all day long, and a clean cat box (which we may or may not provide on a regular basis). So, my parents came to Dimples' rescue a few years back.

What do you get a boy who wants his own pet and thinks his cat is a bore? Why, a fish, of course! Because THEY live an exciting life of...eating and swimming in circles?

He promptly named him MAC. He loved Mac. Why, I will never know. Mac "hung" out in the kitchen. Dimples spent a lot of time watching him swim around, proud to call Mac his own. Bruiser was also infatuated with Mac. Bruiser was all of 2 years old. Both of the boys wanted to take turns feeding Mac. It always made me nervous because they were certain that Mac needed a 4 course meal. So, under much supervision, they were allowed to feed the fish.

One day, after the boys had been tucked into bed, I found our brilliant fish with a fishbowl FULL of food and he was gorging himself. He was on a mission to eat every last flake. Apparently, Bruiser had climbed up onto the counter and gotten into the cabinet where we had carefully placed Mac's food and dumped the entire container into the fishbowl. Nurse Boy and I went into quick action to save the dumb fish. We were determined to rid the scene of evidence.

This was not about the fish. It was about avoiding the tears of our first born.

It was too late. We awoke to a dead fish. We decided to do what every honest parent would do in this situation. We called my parents and told them to head to the pet store STAT. They were instructed to show up on our doorstep with a healthy, blue beta fish named Mac. Oh, and some fish food, because we were out.

And, they did. And, Dimples bought it hook, line, and sinker. We all breathed a sigh of relief. Why was lying so wrong? Who wants to listen to tears over something that can be flushed down the toilet. No harm, no foul. Right?

Wrong! All was well for a few more weeks. Until Bruiser climbed up onto the counter again. No, we didn't keep the fish food in the same cabinet. We had learned our lesson and hid it well. However, someone had put Tic Tacs in the same exact spot where the fish food had previously been. That's right. We are brilliant like that. That day, I found Bruiser hovering over the fish bowl with an empty container of mints. Mac was swimming, very slowly, in orange sugar water. Bruiser proudly announced, "I feed Mac." Yeah, so I see.

I scooped Mac out of there and promptly cleaned his bowl. Since I was such an honest, open parent, I was prepared to erase any evidence of the breath mints swimming in the bowl with Mac. When Dimples entered the kitchen, I calmly told him I was cleaning the bowl for Mac. After all, we all like to be in a clean home.

Yeah, I was too late, yet again. We decided that we couldn't keep running to the pet store for more Macs. Or, could we? No, that would be too dishonest. We let poor Dimples face the music. However, we never told him why Mac died. We decided we shouldn't let him know that his own brother killed his pet. Twice.

Because we are honest parents like that.

Hopefully, our kids will have better morals than we do...