Poop on Jelly

I hate using lotion. I don't know why. I used to think that it was girly or something. I guess most of the lotion that I grew up around was scented and that is where I came up with that. It may be that in my teenage years my skin was so oily that if I used lotion my clothes would just slip off of me. My hair was thick then also, so I don't know why I did not think my skin would change too. So in the last couple of years my hands, face, arms and back have been getting so dry I can't stand to sit around in my own skin. So I have gotten by my pre-conceived notions about lotion and started using it. I just use whatever the old lady has around, so yes it is scented usually. Anybody got a problem with that?

I work with a lot of patients with liver disease in my line of work. If these patients have a blockage in their bile duct, or have end stage liver disease (ESLD), they develop jaundice. Most of you probably know that is when their skin and eyes turn yellow. Often people get this liver disease because of exposure to Hepatitis B or Hepatitis C. So I have to protect myself to try to prevent getting these diseases. Yesterday I noticed my skin looked a little jaundice. Just a hint. I deal with most health problems with a handy tool I like to call denial. My wife is a bit of a hypocodriac, so we are a great pair. When the kids are sick she is sure they are dying, and I think they should walk it off.

So the wife put lotion on my back last night since I can't stand wearing clothes anymore, due to my alligator skin. Nudism is not really an option for me, so I needed the lotion. About 6:00 a.m. my wife went to the bathroom and noticed that she had streaks on her arms. Then she realized that my lotion had self tanner in it. When she told me, I knew where my jaundice had been coming from.

Did I mention that I have been putting some lotion on my dry face?

So I now look like George Hamilton, and my hate for lotion has been renewed.

Nudism, here I come.