Dear Nurse Boy,
I was thrilled that we could find the time to sneak in a date night with your CRAZY schedule this semester. I was even more excited when we got creative and planned a fun night out on a tight budget. It was an added bonus that the sitter was begging to watch the kids. I didn't even mind sharing a cheap burrito and a bag of chips with you for dinner. I didn't need a fancy restaurant and a pricey bill.
The improve comedy club was a fun place to relax and escape for the evening. It was a dive, but we were up for doing something different. I didn't even mind it when they made us practically sit on the laps of the young couple were we seated next to. The place was crowded and we may have been mistaken for a couple of sardines. Cozy can be nice. Plus, you and the gentleman next to us had a good laugh when you noticed you were practically holding hands. I was almost jealous. It was all a bit charming. Plus, I didn't have to share my Diet Coke with anyone who might leave gooey backwash in my cup or accidentally knock it over. I was game. It promised to be a delightful night of adult conversation and some forced snuggle time with the love of my life.
Then you opened your mouth.
Oh, My Love, it wasn't nearly as charming when you introduced me to the adorable and oh-so-young couple as a 37 year old stay-at-home mom with 3 children and a flip phone. I felt like I needed to pull out my bifocals, wrinkle cream, and brag about my latest Bingo win. Yes, I was drooling over their cool phones and longing to play a game of Angry Birds, since it seems to be all the rage. (I realize that last sentence makes me sound like an eighty year old grandma.) But, I was also laughing that they were sitting so close to one another, yet focused on the phones gently cradled in each of their hands.
So what that she didn't have anything that drooped, dragged, or sagged? Who cares that he didn't have a bald spot on the top of his head and his ears, nose, and chest weren't a scary, hairy forest? I'm just glad that I can leave my flip phone in my purse and focus on my carefully planned night away from some of my favorite energy suckers. I may be edging closer to middle age, but I think I am OK with that.
However, I am not OK with that particular introduction EVER AGAIN. Let's practice a new introduction, shall we... Something like, "This is my young, beautiful, glowing, talented, and intelligent wife." I think that will work. Ya know, simple and sweet.
I'll work on keeping my flip phone hidden. But, maybe I shouldn't give up on that wrinkle cream. We can keep that between us, right?
Your Young, Beautiful, Glowing, Talented, and Intelligent Wife
1 day ago