~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Bingo Anyone???

Dear Nurse Boy,

I was thrilled that we could find the time to sneak in a date night with your CRAZY schedule this semester.  I was even more excited when we got creative and planned a fun night out on a tight budget.  It was an added bonus that the sitter was begging to watch the kids.  I didn't even mind sharing a cheap burrito and a bag of chips with you for dinner.  I didn't need a fancy restaurant and a pricey bill.

The improve comedy club was a fun place to relax and escape for the evening.  It was a dive, but we were up for doing something different.  I didn't even mind it when they made us practically sit on the laps of the young couple were we seated next to.  The place was crowded and we may have been mistaken for a couple of sardines.  Cozy can be nice.  Plus, you and the gentleman next to us had a good laugh when you noticed you were practically holding hands.  I was almost jealous.  It was all a bit charming.  Plus, I didn't have to share my Diet Coke with anyone who might leave gooey backwash in my cup or accidentally knock it over.  I was game.  It promised to be a delightful night of adult conversation and some forced snuggle time with the love of my life.

Then you opened your mouth.

Oh, My Love, it wasn't nearly as charming when you introduced me to the adorable and oh-so-young couple as a 37 year old stay-at-home mom with 3 children and a flip phone.  I felt like I needed to pull out my bifocals, wrinkle cream, and brag about my latest Bingo win.  Yes, I was drooling over their cool phones and longing to play a game of Angry Birds, since it seems to be all the rage. (I realize that last sentence makes me sound like an eighty year old grandma.)  But, I was also laughing that they were sitting so close to one another, yet focused on the phones gently cradled in each of their hands. 

So what that she didn't have anything that drooped, dragged, or sagged?  Who cares that he didn't have a bald spot on the top of his head and his ears, nose, and chest weren't a scary, hairy forest?  I'm just glad that I can leave my flip phone in my purse and focus on my carefully planned night away from some of my favorite energy suckers.  I may be edging closer to middle age, but I think I am OK with that.

However, I am not OK with that particular introduction EVER AGAIN.  Let's practice a new introduction, shall we... Something like, "This is my young, beautiful, glowing, talented, and intelligent wife."  I think that will work.  Ya know, simple and sweet.

I'll work on keeping my flip phone hidden.  But, maybe I shouldn't give up on that wrinkle cream.  We can keep that between us, right?

Your Young, Beautiful, Glowing, Talented, and Intelligent Wife


Rachel said...


Guess he kinda sorta put his foot in it, no?

(I still have a flip phone... and the wrinkle cream is not doing such a superb job... I however, think that we glowing Mommas should get together! :)

Shana said...

Ouch. Yeah, I am with Rachel. we glowing Mamas need to get together and hang or something. Yeah, I don't know what because I am always at home too lol. By the way, I have no idea what Angry Birds is. I mean, I know it is a game but whatev. I think I am sure it is overrated anyway lol.

Pam Bowers said...

Well, I'm glad you got out for the evening. Hopefully Mr. Nurse Boy learned his lesson. Angry Birds is slightly over-rated anyways.

Mrs Lemon said...

We had *JUST* returned from our honeymoon and decided to stop in at Mr Lemon's workplace to add me to the insurance, blah blah blah, and he introduced me to his HR director as his CURRENT WIFE.

I can let a lot of things slide, but that tidbit comes back to bite him in the rear occasionally ;)

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

It was the truth, and you should be proud of every one of those years! I was simply pointing out the fact that we were not necessarily hip and up to date with the most recent technology. You are my smart phone baby! I hope you have an app for forgiveness! And please, put that angry bird away!

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

You NEVER share a lady's age. Period. End of story.

And, good thing I am a Christian woman. I will forgive you. After I make you pay for a few days and a brand new bottle of extra expensive eye cream....

The Beautiful Mrs.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I am in the medical community. I have to share my patients date of birth every five minutes. I got confussed! It's hard to remember all these rules!

Plus, you say your a Christian woman, but you still have anger in those eyes! If the eye cream helps with that, you can get two!!!

I love you baby!

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

One word "Baby"... HIPPA


Theresa said...

As much as I chuckled about the post, I laughed hard about the comments! You two are a hoot!

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if you two love birds were having your date night at Target :>) We have so done that! You guys are funny love birds! Glad you guys got some rare time alone this semester!

Anonymous said...

Oops - I guess you know that was me! (Joyce)

Michelle said...

This just makes me want to go "Awwww"... then I read the comments. HAHAHAHAHA!

Boy Mom said...

You two are hilarious! How did I miss this post.

I don't think my phone even flips, except when I throw it at an annoying teenager and Angry Birds are the Crows Feet at the corners of my eyes.

Thanks for the laugh!

Mummy McTavish said...

With flip phones and angry birds I am desperately tring to work in a "flip him the bird" joke here... it's just not coming.

Is it wrong that I eagerly opened the comments just knowing that there would be a little 'discussion' continuing?

Mr NB... next time try working the words "sexbomb" and "Hotty McHotpants" into your introduction... she might not hate the old version quite so much then