Looking Forward

I am glad to hear that my last post has inspired some people to educate their children so they don't grow up city boys or girls also. I blame my father. He did not start to acquire cool stuff like a snow blower, a tiller, a yard tractor until I moved out of town. I know why though. He didn't need any of that stuff because he had a teenage boy. I won't be buying a riding lawn mower for a while. Dimples and Bruiser will be mowing my lawn soon enough. I don't need a tiller, I need a hoe and a boy who wants stuff. My lawn equipment wont be using a 50:1 gas oil mix. They will be eating 50 pasta packets and rejecting one vegetable. They will also be difficult to start, but what is new. Instead of adjusting the choke, I will be choking them.

Then when they move out the wife and I are planning on moving into a town home or no maintenance neighborhood. We will be upgrading all of the electronics but not know how to use it. We will buy cool new cars. We will buy power equipment for the yard that we don't have just because we can. Why? Because that is the cycle of life. I can't wait for that cycle. Then I'll miss this cycle when I am there.

This is the kids at my parents house. I think I will miss this stage. That is one of bruisers smiles. You gotta love that!

Man vs. Machine

So my dad is having open heart surgery and I ask my mom if there is anything she needs done around the house that is manly. She tells me that she would like the areas that she is going to plant flowers in the front of the house tilled. Sounds simple enough. So I go to the garage and pull out the tiller. The thing is huge. I fill it with the 50:1 gas that my father tells me to use. I then go to the start the thing up. I set the choke and pull the cord. Nothing. I prime it, pull it and nothing. Again and nothing. After about 50 pulls and a bruised hand from the pull string attachment I decide to read the picture instructions. I looks like there is a key. I go looking for a key and nothing. I then ask my father who is post op day one and he insists there is no key. I should look for the switch on the handle. So I go back and hold the gas down while I give it another 60 tries. Nothing. My pride is now damaged and I give up. Just then I put a few pieces of the puzzle together and I look for my dads snow blower. I can't find it. Do you know why?

Because it is the tiller.

Only it's not, it's the snow blower. This stupid city boy has been trying to till his mother's flower garden with the stinking snow blower. I'm just glad I didn't get it started. Anyway, I then drained the 50:1 fuel out of the gas tank of the regular gas snow blower and I found the tiller. It turns out the actual tiller is quite easy to start. It also turns out that I am a moron. That may not be news to you, but it's news to me. Nurse boy strikes again!

Open Heart

It seems like a lot has happened since the last time I posted. I posted about my dad, and he recently had a tripple bypass. He had some indigestion at night and some tightness in his chest when walking up the driveway with the paper in the morning. He cassualy mentioned this to the doctor after tax season was over of course. That led to a normal EKG. That led to an abnormal stress test. That led to a worrisome cardiac catheterization. He had a 98% blockage in his left main cardiac artery. They call that the widowmaker. You don't survive that heart attack. He had a tripple bypass on Sunday, and is now home on Wednesday. He is a stud.

When at home before the trip to Indy I walked into Sweat Pea's room and she is lying on her back with with her finger in her nose. She lifts her finger toward me and says, "a yucky. I'm pooppy!" I think she was asking for her Mother.

We made it to Indy in 8 1/2 hours. The kids were awesome. The wife and I were whiny. I can't wait. In 8 years Dimples will be driving and I will sit in the back and watch a movie. It will have to be an action flick. The drive to Indy will be much better then. I will ask is we are out of Kansas City yet when we are still in our own neighborhood. Revenge will be sweat.

Ode to My Father

I take a lot of pride in how my kids are raised. I want them to be respectful, intelligent, fun, honest...The list goes on. I also want them to be a little quirky, because that is a family tradition. I love it when I see my quirkiness in my sons. It is scary when I see my dad's quirkiness in myself. Today, on my father's birthday I will mention some of my father's traits that I see in myself.

1. When I sneeze I do it with the same reckless abandonment that my father does. When he is done sneezing he has the eye watering gaze of pure pleasure that only a sneeze can produce. He often has the contents of his nose on top of his nose. It is audible within a five mile radius.

2. When I do something ridiculous and the people around me are looking in disbelief, I often ask "what?", when I know full well what they are appalled at. I got that from dad.

3. When I do something good I often seek out the praise I feel I deserve. When my dad makes a steak dinner he always asks, "Why don't you like it?" It does not matter how many times people have complimented his meal, he still slips that in.

4. My father and I find pleasure in annoying the people around us to see their reaction when we are bored. My dad flicks peoples rear ends until they punch him. He then asks, "What?"

5. When I belch and pass gas, which is about once a year, it sounds exactly like my father. That is the most eerie to me.

There are plenty of socially acceptable things I can mention, but that is not blog material.

Happy Birthday Dad!
I love you.

Oldie but Goodie

Today my dad sent this to "The Wife" in the mail.

Yes, that is nurse boy in the middle. About 25 or so years ago. I think that smiley face sells it.

Thanks dad.

I quess I am done this year.

GO HOOSIERS!

This is a warning to all dad's, and mom's who care even a little about college sports. If my wife watches your kid ever, there is a good chance they will leave Hoosier fans. I can be very convincing. Especially if your child has the same national defense system as France.

Do You Think I'm Stupid?

In all of the wisdom that I have picked up in 11 years of marriage do not fall for it when a spouse says "we should not buy for each other this year". Especially if receiving gifts is #2 on his or her love language list.

Also, why can a wife give a man tools, but a man can't do the same. I have received many tools as gifts over the years. Granted that all have child protection devices on them, but they are tools. I have appreciated all of them. A guy buys a girl one mop for her birthday and suddenly she is allergic to a sponge on a stick.

So, what do you think I should get my wife for valentines day?
What are you getting your spouse?

She still has not cashed in on those 1000 hours of quality time watching sports together that I gave her last year. I think she is saving them for some really good games.