This week our family took a step back in time. I guess you can say we went retro. We ventured into a place where Micheal Jackson's Billy Jean could be heard at full blast and the smell of stale popcorn filled the air. When we were handed some "vintage" tan roller skates with orange wheels and frayed laces, I felt like a fourth grader all over again.
Only, Doug Dorothy was no where to be found.
Yes, we went to the All School Skating Party. It was everything I remembered. There was the black carpet decorated with nauseatingly busy neon designs, disco balls were spinning out of orbit, little twerps were zipping around the rink, the place was filled with zitty preteens, and I even spied some creepy young adults who were much too old to be hanging out at the roller rink. Oh, and let me not forget the Limbo Line. I couldn't do it then and I wouldn't even think of trying it now.
Truth be told, Sweet Pea and I just observed. Dimples and Bruiser put on roller skates for the very first time. Nurse Boy bravely joined them after about a 25 year break.
It was a sight to behold.
I laughed until I cried.
More than once.
Dimples was playing it cautious and cool. He is, after all, a fourth grader. He was hoping to keep his dignity. Let's just say, he wasn't very successful. Thankfully, neither were most of his friends. They were dropping like flies all night.
Bruiser was certain he would lace those bad boys up and everything would come naturally. This was not the case. His feet were moving 100 miles per hour while each foot would venture into opposite directions. He did the splits more times than I can count.
Nurse Boy was hopeful that his body would remember all the right moves. I kindly reminded him that he was not allowed to injure himself since he is the sole provider for our family. He laughed, grabbed Bruiser's hand, and skated off for a full 30 seconds before they were both on the floor. Thankfully, there was no need for me to dial 911. But, don't think I didn't have my cell phone ready.
Honestly, Nurse Boy rocked that roller rink. He left the boys in the dust and tried out all of his old tricks; however, this time he wasn't trying to impress an awkward fourth grade girl. But, I have a feeling that he may have made an impression on some muscles he didn't even know he had.
I am certain that my fourth grade self would have loved to hold Nurse Boy's fourth grade hand during the couples skate. I am pretty sure Doug Dorothy had nothing on Nurse Boy. Too bad we didn't know each other then. Something tells me that he used to rock the roller rink in his acid washed jeans with his collar standing up while sporting a Swatch watch. I certainly knew how to rock the banana clip. Plus, my teased, Aqua Net bangs helped me glide through the rink at a rapid speed.
But, it would have never been. Girls had cooties and boys were gross back then. Not too mention, Doug Dorothy WAS quite the catch. (He was the only boy in the fourth grade that didn't pick his nose or pass gas at the lunch table. Hey, my demands were simple back then.)
Let's just hope Dimples and Bruiser weren't humiliated by their father, who may or may not have uttered, "In your face!" as he sped past some of Dimples' classmates.
Maybe some things shouldn't be revisited after all.