~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life



Tuesday, January 6, 2009

If Only It Weren't True...

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

So, my brother sent me this and I wish I could say that there was NO truth to this. However, truth be told, I think someone was watching me at the bank ATM when they wrote this...(especially #27!)

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

7 comments:

Theresa said...

And as a good bank employee I laughed until I cried over this!!! However, trust me, it shouldn't be divided by male/female, but by over 40/under 40!

Becca and Adam said...

haha so so true! :-)

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

Cracked me up!

Boy Mom said...

Loved it especially all the purse dumping. I read this to Adorable Hubby...he didn't laugh he rolled his eyes. Hillariously, though sadly, true.

mommy4life said...

Funny and all too true!

Jewel said...

I don't use ATM's but this was still hilarious! BECAUSE I am forever being teased about trying to find things in my purse! Men just don't understand! *smile*

maicher said...

I think I come to the right place, because for a long time do not see such a good thing the!
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