~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Monday, February 16, 2009

Monday's Random Musings

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

Today I am going to be transparent. I actually try to be a transparent person most of the time. I often have a tendency to tell people too much about my life, as if they care about every little detail. But, in the bloggy world, it is easy to come across like you have everything "together." After all, we only share a couple paragraphs with you several times a week. It is easy to make it look like we have life all figured out.

But, we don't.

You see, we are human. Our real names aren't "Mr. & Mrs. Nurse Boy." (I Know! Gasp!)

Last week, we dedicated our blog to our relationship. We shared many of our blessings. Truth be told, life isn't always a bowl of cherries. It really IS like a box of chocolates. Don't you just HATE it when you get one of those chewy, fruity chocolates? They are sticky and taste oh-so-gross. Or, one of those hard carmels that will NEVER melt in you mouth? They may even send you running to your dentist. Well, those are the little reminders that sometimes life stinks. Or, that it can be hard, chewy, sticky, or just plain yucky.

Life is, of course, filled with blessings and disappointments. We like to focus on the blessings on our blog. We hope you come here to laugh and maybe even escape the reality that is 5 loads of laundry staring you in the face. (Or is that just me?) Maybe you are avoiding those dishes that pile up oh-so-quickly. (Please say it isn't just me!) But, we do want to be real.

Today, I am going to share my imperfections as a wife. I don't want to come across like we have the perfect relationship. We don't. No one does.

Marriage is work.

Hard work.

Ongoing work.

And, totally worth working on and fighting for!

So, today, I am going to share some of my own, personal mishaps in our marriage. No, I am not completely baring my soul on the Internet, but I am being real. And, I just might sneak in a little humor. After all, a couple that laughs together, stays together.

At the end of our first year of marriage, we spent our anniversary reflecting on the year. I shared how it had been so much easier than I thought it would be. Nurse Boy was quiet. Smiling, but quiet. I should have left it at that. When I asked him if he felt the same way, he proclaimed that he had spent that year reflecting on our marriage during his daily showers. (Probably the only time of day I let him be alone.) He had wondered what he had gotten himself into. He told me it was one of the most difficult things he had done. I gasped and told him that we most never speak of this again. Now, we laugh. It WAS tough for him. It was what it was. But, we worked on growing together.

One time I was so mad at Nurse Boy, that I couldn't find ANYTHING to be positive about. Nothing. Nada. I don't even remember what it was or why it was such a big deal. But, I was mad and I wanted to be mad. The phone rang. I thought it was one of my family members (this was before caller ID). I decided that I couldn't even be nice to them on the phone. After all, if they heard that I was mad, they just might ask me what happened. Maybe they would side with me and he could realize just how insensitive he was being. So, I quickly picked the phone up in a huff and practically yelled, "Hello!" with some dramatic growls. (Oh, yeah, it was me at my best.) The person on the other end says, "Hello, this is Pastor____ from Church Such-n-Such that you visited today...Is this a good time?" I think he may have been trembling out of fear. I am sure he heard me audibly swallow my pride as I changed my voice to something sing songy and fake. We went to that church for 11 years after that. I have always wondered if he remembers that conversation as clearly as I do. But, I don't REALLY want to know. We'll just leave it as don't ask, don't tell!

And, then there are all the times that Nurse Boy works late. And, the times that I welcome him home with a bark and a growl. I mutter something sassy under my breath as the poor man comes home after a long day of providing for the family. Really. I do it more often than I want to admit. It is the sad, sorry truth. I have myself a husband with an incredible work ethic who provides for our family. He sacrifices a lot for all of us. No, I am not going to be June Cleaver, EVER, and welcome him home with pearls, a fancy dress, and a pot roast with potatoes and gravy every night. Or, any night for that matter. But, why can't I just smile? EVERY. TIME. (I am working on it!)

Just a few weeks ago, we were doing the Love Dare together. It challenges you to bless one another with different actions each and everyday. The problem? I KNEW exactly what his assignment was each day. One day we were suppose to buy each other a gift. That was the assignment. Nothing more than that. Being a woman, I stressed over what to purchase. I combed through the entire Target store to find the PERFECT gift that wasn't expensive, but would speak to him as soon as he received it. Nurse Boy stopped at the local grocery store on his way home and grabbed a bouquet from the bucket at the front of the store. When I saw the flowers, I wanted to throw them in the trash and lecture him on a thoughtful gift. Oh! Yes! I! Did! I didn't actually do that, but I wanted to. How ungrateful can I be? How many women are actually going to feel sorry for me that my husband bought me flowers and presented them to me with a smile on his face?!

So, I know I am not the only one out there who gets a little emotional and has a tendency to over-react. I just wanted to be real, so you will return after reading our posts last week. We are real people, working on a real marriage, and are willing to fight to always keep it real. Really!


Imperfect Mom said...

Can I just say that I am sooooo embarrassed that I called you Mrs. Nurse Boy last week?!

Now I find out it's not even your REAL name!

Color me red!

Boy Mom said...

You are so great! Way to keep it real!

Chris said...

Seriously? Those aren't your real names? I feel so betrayed!!

I loved this post. I also love all of your other posts. Whether they're mushy and gushy or not, they're you and that's what counts.

3 Peas in a Pod said...

I'm still in shock that Mrs. Nurse Boy isn't your name.

I hear you about all the gushy stuff on the blog. My Hubby Rocks Fridays post was that way...as it was supposed to be. As you said when your hubby walks through the door you greet him with a bark and a growl. I often do this and he has many, many jobs just to support us. It's easy to forget about that when you've had a rough day with the kids. In my mind I think at least he got to eat alone, use the potty alone, ride in the car alone, etc. etc. My full-time job before Motherhood was CAKE!!!

My current post has a part about how he uses batteries and mixes the old ones with the new ones. No big deal but it was annoying at the time when I was trying to take pictures for my boys' birthday party and my camera was DEAD!!! Can't get those memories back. I borrowed a camera so don't cry for me. :-)

Thanks for keeping it real.

Much love from NJ,

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

Like I would know anything about using your real name in a blog.

My mom used to squeeze each chocolate in the box, so she would know what it was. So, give your hubby a squeeze to know him better.

mommy4life said...

On our "romantic get-away", Hubby climbed into the big fluffy bed and proceeded to watch the new James Bond film "Quantum of Solace". YES. HE. DID! In the middle of the film, I snuck out for complimentary cookies.... HA.HA.

We all have issues and it sure is sweet of you to make the rest of us feel better...

Chaos-Jamie said...

I started the love dare weeks ago. You know how you can't go on to the next page until you've done the last one? I started January 1...I'm now on day three.

Mummy McTavish said...

You almost lost me, personally I was absolutely horrified by the fact that you don't like those hard caramel chocolates. Just about stopped reading then and there!

I know I can say "me too" to all of your realness. And you forgot the one where you are secretly happy and thinking "that'll show him" when he looks after the kids and the kids decide to be the most horrid little monsters on earth... no? just me? okay... there's a bit more realness from the McTavish house.