~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Monday, April 6, 2009

Monday's Random Musings

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

So, here we are.



Today, I want to share some inspiration with you. Last week I went to a Mommy's group and heard a wonderful, positive, and inspirational speaker. Her energy was amazing, her love for God was contagious, and her advice was practical. Her topic was spring cleaning.

Oh, stop groaning. (Especially, YOU, Nurse Boy!)

She gave lots of practical tips. More than I could ever implement, but great ideas none the less. After listening to her speak and connecting with other women, I was feeling inspired to march home and tackle it ALL.

That is, until I was home.

Actually, I did tackle my refrigerator. I took on the spoiled food, moldy remains, and old, dried up spills of who-knows-what. When Nurse Boy came home he was so impressed, until I sent him for takeout. I mean, who can cook dinner after cleaning out your refrigerator? I couldn't get anything dirty again! I needed to sit back and take in it's new found beauty. I knew it would only be hours (maybe even minutes) before someone spilled a sticky, red substance all over my refrigerator and left it to ferment. And, I don't even let the kids eat anything that is sticky AND red.

The next day, I armed myself with Clorox wipes and put the boys through "Bathroom Boot Camp." It was a training session that couldn't have been more specific. We covered every detail and every crevice. Right down to the urine puddles that mysteriously appear behind the toilet 3 minutes after I clean each bathroom. The boys response? "GROSS!"

Um, ya, that is exactly why I am putting you through Bathroom Boot Camp. All I know is, it is not MY urine.

So, now for today's randomness. I will share some random quotes from my boys during our bathroom boot camp:

Whose toothpaste is that in the sink? If it isn't mine, I don't have to clean it up, right?

You want me to wipe THAT up? I don't even know what that is!

That's disgusting!

That is so dirty! You want ME to clean that up?

I have to clean the floor, too?

And, the toilet?

What is that on the toilet?

Urine? Yuck! You want me to clean THAT up, too? But, my hands might touch the urine!

Who lives here, savages? Oh, wait. That one was me.

You want me to clean the floor behind the toilet? But, there might be something gross back there! (You think?!)

I think I might need a bucket to throw up into after I am finished cleaning in here! (I can't make this stuff up, people. They were serious. And, terrified!)

So, I would love to report that my bathrooms remained sparkling clean for more than 3 minutes after THEY cleaned them, but it might take a few weeks of elbow grease before they realize they just create more work for themselves when they don't aim.

All I know is, I am not cleaning up those "mysterious" puddles anymore. No sirree.


Ruby Red Slippers said...

When can you come to Michigan and run my boys through this bathroom bootcamp?!?
I will pay good money for that camp...at least provide a place to sleep, and some-what good food.

...Our neighbor had another neighbor's tree fall on their property and do some major damage...I thought of you...are you flattered or what?! LOL
Hope your neighbor situation is perking up...

Imperfect Mom said...

I rarely clean up pee. In fact, I'm such a mean and horrible (and unfair and unjust) mother that I've been known to remove a privilege if AM leaves "evidence" behind.

It's just one of those non-negotiables in our house. I don't pee on your toys, you don't pee on the toilet I cleaned.

For the most part, it works well. IF I find pee anywhere, he has to stop whatever he is doing and come fix the situation.

Now, I only have one boy old enough to dribble, but even if I wasn't sure who the pee-ee was, I would make them take turns or something.

I just don't do pee :).

If they can shoot a basket,they can surely hit a hole 100x's bigger than the "ammo" stream they're aiming with.

Theresa said...

My youngest daughter incorporated toilet cleaning with potty training with her oldest! It's really kind of nice, because if he's at our house and misses, he cleans up after himself!

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

IM: Have you ever heard of dual stream? Sometimes you have to just aim the biggest stream. Now, it should be cleaned up, but it is not as easy it sounds sometimes. Also, it is not just boys. Sometimes little girls get curious and like to contort their hooha's and giggle at the fountain in front of them. I call that talent! Weird, but talented. That sums up the family if you ask me.

It is O.K to miss the basket if you get your own rebound.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

That was the Mr., above, of course.

Imperfect Mom said...

Nice basketball analogy, but it's still a foul to double dribble.

Boy Mom said...

This whole post left me fetal and twitching. I won't even go in the downstairs bathroom, nope, just won't do it. I had a cute little basket on the back of the toilet in my bathroom, it was for Clorox wipes. Then #5 started using them to wipe with which caused him to need left over diaper rash cream and powder after every movement, the results of course were butt cream and powder all over the bathroom which, it turns out, is way worse than urine. Sob! I may need therapy before it's all over.

The comments were hilarious, how can they be so grossed out by something they cause?

And, Mr. Nurse Boy, not amused (well maybe a bit) all we get '
'round these parts is, double streams and crossing streams, and triple streams. I have considered a sign above each toilet that says, "You aim or I will!"

Mum-me said...

Have you ever seen the little signs that says

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

It might be a bit too subtle for most children (and adults!)

My children get all grossed out when I make them clean up. Someone who was supposed to be on clear-the-table duty just dumped all the dirty dishes in the sink without scraping them first. They were so absolutely disgusted that I made them dig the soggy scraps out of the drain-hole - you would have thought I was making them clean up dog poop with their bare hands by listening to the comments/protests they made.

Mummy McTavish said...


"I don't pee on your toys, you don't pee on the toilet I cleaned"

"You aim or I will!"

And those comments from the kids... I'm in stitches here!

My biggest problem is a 4 year old who refuses to wipe his own butt because "but I might get POO on me". Seriously, it's okay for mummy to get YOUR POO on HER HAND when you decide to rearrange your derriere on the seat WHILE SHE'S WIPING but getting your own poo on you is just more than you can handle??? UGH KIDS!

On Stage said...

This is hilarious.... the post as well as the comments! I think you should create a "Bathroom Bootcamp" video. We could certainly use some help in this area! My kids have the ability to potty on everything and then leave the mess for me to deal with.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Oh. eeew. No way. I'm trying to get my boy potty trained and this is what I have to look forward to? Oh, noooooo!

Anonymous said...

Omigosh I just about peed myself laughing at your boys. Gross!! Disgusting!! What IS that?!?


3 Peas in a Pod said...

Disinfectant wipes are my best friend! I think my husband is the biggest offender out of the 3 of them. Kyle came in yesterday and told me he wasn't paying attention and he missed the potty. He got points for telling me.

Mummy McTavish is a riot!!! BOTH of my boys still ask me to wipe their bums for the same exact reasons!!! So funny. Maybe when Kyle goes to first grade he can start wiping his own bum. Geesh! Boys are stinky. Thanks for the laugh today. I needed it!!

Much love from NJ,

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Hey 3 Pea's,
In my experience with the three kids, the girls are much stinkier.