~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I Ain't No Grocery Store Prince Charming

Mrs. Nurse Boy hates going to the grocery store. There is nothing she likes about it.




She has this weird idea in her head that if we all go as a family it will be a blissful lovely time of togetherness. She even tries to incorporate it into dates at times. You know, just the two of us. Having a romantic getaway at Price Chopper. She is the princess and well...

She gets mad when I am not her grocery store prince charming.

You know, the man who keeps the kids perfectly under control. The man who keeps the perfect distance with the cart and never runs into her heals. The man who is never flabbergasted about the price of her healthy alternatives. The man who keeps his hands to himself. The man who anticipates her moves and would never deviate from the path she always takes.

We almost got into a knock down drag out brawl the other day because I did not know her usual pathway from the front door to the produce. Seriously, I saw veins in her forehead. I am just a huge disappointment when it comes to that. I am the frog instead of the prince. I know this by now, but she still hangs on to those school girl dreams that I will sweep in and rescue her from grocery store hell. Instead I just make it hotter.

Reality check in isle 3. As we all know I am not a prince. I have no white hoarse. And if she kisses me, I will still be me. I understand her desire for prince charming, I just can't be him. If I notice her growing out her hair like Rapunzel I might get concerned. I am not worried too much about some other grocery store Prince, because I have been there.

Not a lot of competition!

I will just promise to make it up to her in bed at night.

With a foot massage.

What were you thinking? We don't go to the counters that require a key.


mommy4life said...

Laughing so hard right now! My biggest peeve is when hubs keeps pushing the basket right on by me as I am trying to put stuff it it!!!

Mum-me said...

Too funny!

I have to admit that I prefer to shop alone or with just the children. If HB comes with me he wants to try all the new products and add extra treats that aren't on the shopping list. Which makes him just like one of the kids - except I can't order him to 'put it back on the shelf and don't touch anything else!'

Oh, and then when we get to the checkout he is flabbergasted at the total price and wants to put back all the healthy fruit and veggies I have in the trolley so we can afford the new flavour of Red Rock Deli chips.

Brandi said...

Aw, hopeless romantic that one. I've had fantasies about us going to the store together and shopping, but we end up spending $500 because everyone puts stuff in the buggy. Nope. Not good for the budget. Poor Daddy has to shop alone.

Jewel said...

This is hilarious! My husband and I usually go grocery shopping together but, believe me, that wasn't always the case! Because of illness, he had to take over the shopping for a few years and he has gotten realllyyy good at it and he understands the frustrations of it all, thankfully.
Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning!! Early for me, anyway! :-)

Mother Mayhem said...

Do you sneak Treet meat in the buggy?

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

But I have a feeling your are Prince Charming in other ways. You Sexy Beast! :-)

(I'm not really calling your husband that Mrs. Nurse Boy....my husband says that about himself all the time so I am sure that in his head, at least, Mr. Nurse Boy is saying the same thing about himself!)

Very awesome post, by the way!

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Oh, I should mention, that I am no princess for my Supermarket Prince Charming. He has his own way of shopping and I never do it the way he wants....I think I may be the man in our relationship!

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

I've offered to go shopping for my wife since she hates to shop. In all reality, I think she likes it but she likes the fact that I can always find a good deal. That's why I get to go along. I also get to unload the car & carry the groceries in.

Mummy McTavish said...

I am determined to continue taking my man shopping with me at least occasionally... no matter how many times he fills the trolley with chips and new varieties of this and that he wants to try and runs it into my heels and is NEVER in the same aisle as me and lets the kids buy frootloops and...and...and, well, he just wont be getting out of it. I have no idea how often I have helped little old men on their first shopping trip after their wife has got sick or worse and they need help to select the right washing detergent or explain the difference between all the gazillion tinned tomatoes (like I know?? just get the cheapest of the good brands that don't come with half a grub in the can) or helped him find the shampoo that his wife has always bought... That will not be my husband! He will not forget those skills from lack of use... But each time we shop together I fear it may be the last... because one of these trips I may just kill him.

Mrsbear said...

I'm not a big fan of the family grocery trip. Because more often than not I am THAT mother, with the unruly children, who keeps talking at them in angry whispers through clenched teeth. Now, a grocery trip alone...that's another story.

You may not be a Prince but you're no grocery trip Frog. ;) First Mr. Nurse Boy post I've read, but you both are equally entertaining.

Theresa said...

I'm so glad I married the Prince! Sir Nottaguy-Imadad is great at finding bargains and does stick to my list on the rare occasions when he shops alone. I really do hate shopping, but I go grocery shopping because I get the rare idea for something new to cook. I will say, that taking my girls shopping when they were small was not nearly the ordeal that it was after they became teenagers. Walking through a grocery store with bottomless pits is just asking for trouble!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I don't like grocery shopping, so I always send my Prince. However there are days like today, when I am shaking my head at him. He bought six (!!) boxes of pancake mix. SIX. Why? They were on sale-buy one, get one free. Two would have been plenty! I don't understand him some days.
I hope this means I get breakfast in bed tomorrow, but I am not going to hold my breath...

Suz said...

I hate the wholeshopping excursion myself. I can usually talk my hubby into going, especially if we can get one of the older ones to ten the little ones, and a quiet dinner before.

We have " Walmart" I never leave without shilling out $200. That is sad, and is is really all food, detergent, and TP.

However it is fun to people watch, and count all the mullets. I really don't think it is the place to find " prince charming" either.

I'd only start to worry if they are selling frog legs in the meat department. If so, I'd refuse to go, you might get sold to foot the shopping bill.