Mrs. Nurse Boy hates going to the grocery store. There is nothing she likes about it.
She has this weird idea in her head that if we all go as a family it will be a blissful lovely time of togetherness. She even tries to incorporate it into dates at times. You know, just the two of us. Having a romantic getaway at Price Chopper. She is the princess and well...
She gets mad when I am not her grocery store prince charming.
You know, the man who keeps the kids perfectly under control. The man who keeps the perfect distance with the cart and never runs into her heals. The man who is never flabbergasted about the price of her healthy alternatives. The man who keeps his hands to himself. The man who anticipates her moves and would never deviate from the path she always takes.
We almost got into a knock down drag out brawl the other day because I did not know her usual pathway from the front door to the produce. Seriously, I saw veins in her forehead. I am just a huge disappointment when it comes to that. I am the frog instead of the prince. I know this by now, but she still hangs on to those school girl dreams that I will sweep in and rescue her from grocery store hell. Instead I just make it hotter.
Reality check in isle 3. As we all know I am not a prince. I have no white hoarse. And if she kisses me, I will still be me. I understand her desire for prince charming, I just can't be him. If I notice her growing out her hair like Rapunzel I might get concerned. I am not worried too much about some other grocery store Prince, because I have been there.
Not a lot of competition!
I will just promise to make it up to her in bed at night.
With a foot massage.
What were you thinking? We don't go to the counters that require a key.
1 day ago