~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Look Away, People! Just Look Away!

Mrs. Nurse Boy here.

The other day we found ourselves at the grocery store. The entire family. And, it was after 9 pm.

THAT'S right. We were one of THOSE families.

My kids were tired, whiny, and looked like a complete mess. The boys' feet were covered in mud and I am pretty sure I saw sand in their hair. I won't even mention the remnants of dinner on their crusty faces. Sweet Pea's pigtails were a mess and she had about 7 different kinds of stains covering her shirt. Her attitude was just about as ugly as her stain filled shirt and as wild as her hair.

Yeah, we were quite the sight.

Then, I had a flashback. No, not one of THOSE flashbacks, but one caused by too little sleep and not enough caffeine. I suddenly remembered my life with just one child...

(Cue soft, beautiful music and a field of butterflies.)

Ah, yes. Dimples never left the house without a proper bath or wipe down, freshly combed hair, an adorable (always matching) outfit, and stylish shoes. (That is if you consider Stride Right stylish. And, at $35 a pair, I do.) His face was always void of smudges and smears. His nails were trimmed and his feet were clean. ALWAYS. Without fail.

I remember pushing the shopping cart through the grocery store with my head held high. My kid was clean, my kid was cute, and my kid had his shoes on the correct feet.

(I mean, who would go out in public with their kids' shoes on the wrong feet? Really? How tacky.)

Nothing but the best for my Dimples.

Fast forward to today...

Leaving the house takes an act of congress.

Shoes? "Check!" (Who cares if they are on the correct feet. Just PUT THEM ON!)
Teeth brushed? "Maybe." (Good enough for me. I don't even remember if I brushed my own teeth.)
Hair combed? "I think so." ( Um, I don't think so, but we are gonna be late.)
Clean clothes? "Uh, I scraped off chucks of cereal from breakfast, so, yes!" (Works for me!)

Frankly, I can't worry about every piece of hair, every smear on their face, whether their shoes are on the correct feet, whether their clothes are free of stains AND matching, or whether their hair has seen a comb in the last week.

Nope. We would NEVER leave the house if I did.

If they can walk without tripping, if they don't smell, and if they look somewhat put together, I consider it all good.

Like I said...We are one of THOSE families. And, I wouldn't trade it for anything...

(But, I will try to avoid the grocery store with the kids after their bedtime. Somethings we SHOULD keep to ourselves.)


Kari said...

Hilarious! It's called reality ;o)

Boy Mom said...

People like you should just stay home so that we families with matching outfits, pearly white teeth, and perfect hair can shop in peace.

I so wish you could come on vacation with us. Suz and I are driving a couple hours to my Moms vacation house in a tiny little town in the middle of some incredible scenery. We swim in a waterfall and hunt for arrow heads. Husbands are invited but ours usually roll their eyes and send us on our way. Dimples and Bruiser would fit in with the seven we bring and Lilly and Sweet Pea could princess till they dropped. Best thing...Cheap. There is nothing to spend money on.

Almond Oil, I'm going to get some. Have you ever used essential oils? They are very strong smelling in heavenly natural scents, I'm going to try adding a drop or two and see if I can create my own signature scent (now that baby vomit is no longer an excuse).

Mrsbear said...

Hahaha. Oh how things change. I'm with you on this one. Sometimes I don't have a choice but to head to the grocery store with all four in two and sporting various degrees of dishevelment. You're so right, if I were striving for perfection I'd NEVER leave the house. I mean NEVER. And yes, I have walked out of the house thinking I've brushed my teeth and washed my face, only to discover half way to wherever I'm going that NO, I most certainly did NOT. ;) Glad we're not alone in our chaos.

momstheword said...

Hahaha! I think I saw you there, lol! You know, when the kids are little, it is just enough to get out of the house, who cares if their shirt is on inside out? At least they're wearing one!

Brandi said...

HAHAHA!! So true. By the time you get to three you just throw your hands up. Who cares what they look like in the store. I just wear dark shades and tell them to follow me, but not too close.

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

My kids are grown & gone, but I still don't put too much concen into how I look going to the store. I'm not going there to impress anyone, and I promise you, they will take my money regardless of how I look.

mommy4life said...

Hey - I resemble that, too!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

You are speaking my language!!!
That is my life these days as well-and my baby (who is three-) is wearing his dirty pj's because he played in the dirt/sand before we left. When he cried at the store, it left track marks of dirt...that was last night at WallyWorld.
I always said we would NOT be like that, but alas-
With one child we were the anal family with one kid in Cheaper By the Dozen (the movie), my SIL's always teased us about it-...they haven't teased us in a very long time, come to think about that! ;)

Anonymous said...

Always get a chuckle out of your blog....You have a talent for writing.....

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Truth time:
If I left the kids in half the condition that the Mrs. described, she would disown me. She would never go out in that condition. That does not mean that she would not come home in that condition, or that the boys would not try to leave in that condition. I drove the baby sitter home yesterday because the Mrs. had somewhere to be before I got home from work. I decided to go to a park with dinner. It turns out the boys had no shoes. We went anyway. That would never happen with the Mrs.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

They didn't have SHOES??? And, you still took them to the park?!!! Next thing I know you are going to tell me you fed them McDonald's and they weren't wearing a seatbelt either...You know what, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Really. They are alive and well today.

Mrs. NB

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

So...we're supposed to have three kids when that "I don't care" attitude comes along, huh?

Ah, crap. I'm so ahead of the curve on that one. I took Jonathan out in his diaper to watch the fireworks on the Fourth. I mean, it was dark and it wasn't like we were going into a supermarket, but still...very redneck and tacky!

momstheword said...

Well, I live with my pastor as he is my husband so that won't work for me, lol! But still, I loved your idea!!!!! Maybe I'll try it anyway....hehehe!

Mummy McTavish said...

Shoes? Forget about shoes for the kids, for that matter forget about shoes for me... Have I mentioned the number of times I have nearly gone out without any pants on??? We can be too fussy about the shoes!

I generally just try to make certain that the food scraps stuck to their faces are from the last 24 hours...

momstheword said...

I love the comments back and forth to your hubby! That's the fun of facebook, leaving comments back and forth with my hubby or kids, lol!

No, I haven't seen the movie but I heard it was great!

Queen to my 3 Boys said...

You have just perfectly described our home.

On the bright side...if you would have stayed at one, he would have been fussed over WAY too much. You are building independence.

You go, girl!

Mother Mayhem said...


Rachel said...

Oooh!!! I didn't think there were any other husband/wife tag teams out there! My husband manages to start all kinds of trouble on our blog on a daily basis! :)

Loved the post. Is it bad that I only have ONE kid and he sometimes goes shoeless with Cheetos dust on his chin?

See - look at all those moms who know exactly what you're talking about!