~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Monday, September 14, 2009

Boy, Was My Face RED!

Nurse Boy here for another fascinating True Story Tuesday!

I have been a nurse for about 12 and a half years now. Most of my career I have been a GI nurse. Studies have shown that I am a very good GI nurse. No need to reference those studies, just take my word for it.

But, early on in my career was a completely different story altogether.

There was a time when I worked on an oncology floor where many of my patients were post hysterectomy. When sending my patients home I would type their discharge instructions out and send it home with them. (All of that stuff is pre-printed now, but a lot has changed in the last 11 years.)

One day I was typing the instructions out just like I had done for the last six months while working on that floor. One of the complications that you would have the patient watch for is signs of infection. Most of these hysterectomies were done vaginally, which means the incision was through the vagina instead of through the abdominal wall. One way to watch for infection is to watch for "purulent drainage."

Most people don't know what purulent drainage is. A simple explanation is to say it is drainage with pus in it. As an alternative, I typed "look for pussy drainage."

Not a good alternative, since that makes a 24 year old male nurse look like a degenerate.

I had handed my patient and her husband her discharge instructions and was looking over the hospital copy on the way back to the nursing station when I noticed what I had done. What is worse is that I had been telling women to look for PUSSY DRAINAGE for six months!

I got no complaints, but I should have.

What more True Story Tuesday? Go visit Rachel and Mr. Daddy over HERE!


Rachel said...

I am afraid... very afraid of what Mr. Daddy will say in the comments when he sees this!

(Though I'm guessing he'll recall Itty Bit screaming his head off for a certain Thomas the Tank Engine buddy named Percy... which came out sounding, well... a little naughty. And of course it was right before Christmas in a crowded store.)

I am amazed that no one said anything to you about that before you caught it! I probably would have laughed 'til I cried if I got home and read that.

My sis is a nurse... you guys have some nutty sense of humor :)

Thanks for linking up. And I do believe the studies...

Lisa said...

Oh my god. And just when I thought I couldn't laugh anymore today! That beats the old boyfriend story I tell on an ex who asked for an extra cup of "ASS" with his meal instead of ice! LOL I honestly have trouble believing a 24 year old male took six months to realize that mistake! LOLOLOL Great story.

Mummy McTavish said...

Nurse Boy! I'm horrified!

and laughing hysterically... That kind of surgery can cause some women to feel a bit depressed so I am sure your mistake helped them laugh... or distracted them as they composed their letter to the hospitals board of directors :)

This just reminded me of taking the staff photo for the OBGYN's at the public hospital here... The "shop talk" I heard that morning caused me to need some brain bleach!! and none of it was an innocent mistake like yours.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I'm blushing for you! You poor man! (*snicker*)

Michelle said...

That is hysterical Nurse Boy! Isn't it great that we can all look back on our mistakes and laugh?

He & Me + 3 said...

OMGosh that is hysterical and the first time I read the word I read it as Puss with a y but the second time I read it the other way. Holy embarrassment. I am sure half of them never even read the discharge papers. I hardly ever do...but I may start now. LOL

Brandi said...

OMG! That is waaaay funny. I'm telling ya, my hubby would have said something to you! :) I'm going to be laughing all day... thanks!

jen said...

Visiting from the 3 Bubs blog and laughing SO hard at this! Thanks for that!

Emily said...

bwahahahahahahaha! I'm definitely surprised you got no complaints.

Foursons said...

Oh goodness- this is just about the funniest story I've read. I can even imagine the thoughts that went through those poor women's minds.

Mrsbear said...

Bwahaha. That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Oh no. Really? Nobody ever complained. I'd be too busy laughing to compose a coherent letter. Good stuff.

Anonymous said...

That is hysterical! I had to read it to my husband because I was laughing so hard and he was wondering what was wrong with me. Thanks! :)

Ruby Red Slippers said...

How horifying!!!
That is an "ooops" for sure!

Lauren said...

That is so funny!! Words like that really just shouldn't have two pronounciations!

susan said...

Ahh, you're so sweet. We've had the Swine flu, one or two miserable 7 to 10 day 103 degree fever and cough courses at a time.

My turn today, thanks for thinking of me, it made me cry, in a happy way of course.