~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Next Survivor Series

Mrs. Nurse Boy here. Need a good laugh? Love the show Survivor? My mom emailed this to me. Trust me, it is worth your time to read it!

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight,shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

Oh yes, did I mention that they have to work a 40 Hour/Week job in addition to these few tasks and feed the dog, oops got to keep that water bowl filled!?

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Now that, my friends, is a show I would watch!!!


Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I am afraid Nurse Boy would NEVER make it through the first round, but I still love him!!!

Mrs. NB

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Will this be on the PMS network?

Mr. NB

Michelle said...

LOL! You 2 are too funny! :) I love this email, and I don't think my hubby would survive either!

Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog. I'm more than happy to help you if you want to make some changes. Just be forwarned, I am NOT an expert. Anything I wanted to make different with my blog, I just googled how to do it. But everything is original and I did not use a template. If you want some help, just email me. I believe my 'contact' button will get you my email address!

Have a blessed day!

Jewel said...

Wow! Did/do we really do all of thaaaattt???? *whew* I know that I did at one time in my life. Is that why I am so worn out all of the time now? I'm still catching up on my rest??? LOL
Love the PMS network remark, Mr. NB! (Does he ALWAYS have a comeback?)

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Yes, Jewel. He ALWAYS has a comeback!


Mrs. NB

Ruby Red Slippers said...

Can you add-
washing the bedding after the dog peed on the bed for no reason,
and also-
cleaning up after the washing machine overflows after doing too many loads already today...
I don't usually feel so overwhelmed, but today-that is me!!
Love that email-I need to snag it!

He & Me + 3 said...

That would be an awesome show to watch. I just want to be a fly on the wall when I leave the kids with hubs for a whole day by himself:)

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Here is the deal, I love it when Mrs. Nurse Boy leaves me for the day with the kids. You can bet that very few things on that list will get done, much to the Mrs.'s disappointment. But I can hold my own with those kids!

And Jewel, I would not have to have a comeback if there was not provocation.

Mr. NB

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

I know a few guys that would be just right for the show. They do NOTHING from the time they come home from work. I figure that if my wife is going to put 40 hours in at her job, the least I can do is help out around the house.

Mother Mayhem said...

They need to add the kid that wakes you up at 2 am spewing out of both ends...

This may be my favorite show! ;o)

Suz said...

He has got to learn how to can veggies also!!!!

I bet no man would survive. The cramps would kill them, WE ALL KNOW THAT!



Brandi said...

Too funny! First round? Mine wouldn't make it through the first 10 minutes. ;)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

This is awesome! Yes! I would totally watch this show, but I predict that not one man will survive the first day!

Theresa said...

As long as there were no diapers to change and he had a notepad to write everything down on, Sir Nottaguy-Imadad might be able to make it through a couple of rounds. However, about the first time any one of the kids started vomiting or diarrhea, and it would be all over. The kids would have to find a way to get Sir to the Urgent Care!

Mummy McTavish said...

There are some things Wolf would manage okay with and some things that he wouldnt even notice if they jumped up and bit him... like remembering that the kids need to eat more than once a day ;)

I reckon the kids shouldn't vote them off, instead the first one to lock themselves in the toilet for some peace and quiet is first to leave!

Mrsbear said...

I'm with Mummy McTavish, every time my husband watches the kids, meals become a little less than routine. Lunch at 4, dinner at 9. I can just see him baking cupcakes! Ha! I would so watch that show.

Shana said...

That is hilarious! I am oving reading this blog by the way! Glad I found you on Rachel's.