~Poop On Jelly~

Our Family's Bitter/Sweet Life



Thursday, June 4, 2009

Maybe Our Neighbors Should Hate Us

Nurse Boy here.

(I am writing our second post for the day, so you should read our last post if you have not been here in the last 12 hours.)

Today was garage sale day for the Nurse Boy family. It is a day where we put out our junk that we don't want, have people come by all day and look at it, and if they don't buy anything, we feel rejected. Even though we don't want it either.

None of our neighbors came by to say hi. I suppose they were worried that we would hard sell them. We did not make a killing today, but we did have some fun.

We got to set out all of the kids toys that they don't play with anymore.

Except when it's sitting in the driveway with a 25 cent sticker on it. Then it's like gold.

We were selling a sleeper sofa also. A 500 pound sleeper sofa. A 500 pound sleeper sofa that we promised to never move again about three moves ago. It has served us well. It is the bed that I slept on the week leading up to my marriage to Mrs. NB. It is what we slept on in her parent's house when we were working on our current house for about 2 months longer than expected. It is what my parents slept on every time they visited for the last 5 years. It has also produced hernias (from lifting it) and a permanent line in every ones back that has slept on it. We sat on it in the driveway like the king and queen of white trash today. I even took a short nap on it.

It did not sell.

We have two more days to try to get rid of it. If it does not sell, I will have to burn it in my driveway. I swear I will not move that thing again, unless it is helping to lift it into the back of someone else's truck.

Speaking of white trash, the Mrs. gave me a haircut on the back patio again tonight. The neighbor kids were at the fence and over the fence and on the fence. (That goes without saying, because we had just had dinner so they blessed us with commentary.) So she was using the clippers, and the neighbor kids were called away from the fence. This was the perfect opportunity for the Mrs. to give me my summer cut in privacy. You know the summer cut. The one where she continues down and shaves my back so I won't scare the small children at the pool.

"Look mom, it's the missing link."

"No son, that is just a man who likes to wear a shaggy sweater to the pool."

No, that is just me. So anyway, I have a little pride, so I don't want the neighbors to know about the back shaving. So Sweet Pea sees what is going on and, in shocked amazement, screams, "Mommy, you giv'n daddy's back a haircut?" There goes my privacy.

Outside.

I told you we are white trash.

8 comments:

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

I'd totally love to have you as our neighbors! I'm white trash too! One night I took off after our dog in the backyard with a broom while wearing my nightgown. He just wouldn't come inside and kept barking at the neighbors...who were on their patio at the time having a cookout. Yeah...they still give me funny looks...like they want to ask me if I've had my meds today or not.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I too would love you as a neighbor....Enjoyed reading your blog tonight. I am still finding my way around blogland....I always love making new friends..I am posting about Disney so hope you will stop by. Commenting automatically puts you in the drawing for the June giveaway.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Excuse me...sense when do you have pride?! And, you do know that will most likely be Sweet Pea's first memory...of her dad getting his "summer cut." Nice.

Mrs. White Trash

Brandi said...

Ha, ha, ha - I just gave my husband that same summer haircut! I swear he looks like he's lost 10 lbs!

mommy4life said...

Where's the pic of you and Mrs on the couch in the driveway? Huff!

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

Sofa sleepers in the driveway would be an improvement over some of the things around here. How about toilets in the front yard with flowers in them?
If your sofa doen't sell, list it on the freecycle website for your area. We got rid of our 500# sleeper sofa that way. We had 14 people email us asking for it.

momstheword said...

hahahaha! We have a friend named Dan and his wife calls his back his "Dan-gora" sweater.

Our neighbor kids used to climb on the fence and stare at us. I kept shooshing them away. Finally complained to their parents.

They also would climb on our porch railings and "ride" them like they were a horse. Also chalked all over our sidewalk and our porch.

Complained about that too. Kept telling their parents that I didn't want them in our yard, playing on our porch (and weaking the railings) or playing on our swingset when we were gone.

I just don't think their parents got it!

Mother Mayhem said...

Planning a garage sale of our own here. We got rid of our 500 pound sleeper sofa a couple of years ago. Thank God. ;o)

Glad you got your trim. TeeHee.