Maybe Our Neighbors Should Hate Us

Nurse Boy here.

(I am writing our second post for the day, so you should read our last post if you have not been here in the last 12 hours.)

Today was garage sale day for the Nurse Boy family. It is a day where we put out our junk that we don't want, have people come by all day and look at it, and if they don't buy anything, we feel rejected. Even though we don't want it either.

None of our neighbors came by to say hi. I suppose they were worried that we would hard sell them. We did not make a killing today, but we did have some fun.

We got to set out all of the kids toys that they don't play with anymore.

Except when it's sitting in the driveway with a 25 cent sticker on it. Then it's like gold.

We were selling a sleeper sofa also. A 500 pound sleeper sofa. A 500 pound sleeper sofa that we promised to never move again about three moves ago. It has served us well. It is the bed that I slept on the week leading up to my marriage to Mrs. NB. It is what we slept on in her parent's house when we were working on our current house for about 2 months longer than expected. It is what my parents slept on every time they visited for the last 5 years. It has also produced hernias (from lifting it) and a permanent line in every ones back that has slept on it. We sat on it in the driveway like the king and queen of white trash today. I even took a short nap on it.

It did not sell.

We have two more days to try to get rid of it. If it does not sell, I will have to burn it in my driveway. I swear I will not move that thing again, unless it is helping to lift it into the back of someone else's truck.

Speaking of white trash, the Mrs. gave me a haircut on the back patio again tonight. The neighbor kids were at the fence and over the fence and on the fence. (That goes without saying, because we had just had dinner so they blessed us with commentary.) So she was using the clippers, and the neighbor kids were called away from the fence. This was the perfect opportunity for the Mrs. to give me my summer cut in privacy. You know the summer cut. The one where she continues down and shaves my back so I won't scare the small children at the pool.

"Look mom, it's the missing link."

"No son, that is just a man who likes to wear a shaggy sweater to the pool."

No, that is just me. So anyway, I have a little pride, so I don't want the neighbors to know about the back shaving. So Sweet Pea sees what is going on and, in shocked amazement, screams, "Mommy, you giv'n daddy's back a haircut?" There goes my privacy.

Outside.

I told you we are white trash.